Following the Band
by shinelrond
Summary: what happens when five elfie plushies get decked out in leather and start a band....(rating is for swears)
1. Default Chapter

"'ELLO LONDON!" The crowd erupted when the announcer screamed out the cities name from the dimly lighted stage. "'ERE THEY ARE, THE GREATEST BAND IN THE 'OLE DAMN WORL', EPILP!"  
  
The crowd roared, louder than previously, "ELFIE PLUSHIES IN LEATHER PANTS!"  
  
With that, five cushy looking objects, about a foot and a half tall and dressed completely in leather, ran out on stage with various 'whoops' and 'yeas'. One, with a little longer than shoulder length hair and a slightly rougher appearance than his fellows, had a guitar slung over his shoulder which he quickly took in his hands when he stepped up to a mic. Two of the little guys, looking identical and each with hair like the rough looking one, ran up behind a drum set and a keyboard, smiling devilishly at one another. Another, with hair as dark as those before him, had a leather skull cap with golden words proclaiming 'YOUR KING, BITCH'. He ran up to the microphone that stood in the center of the stage. The last of the five had silver hair and was dressed in white leather instead of black like all the others and ran up with his own double guitar in hand.  
  
The five plushies received silence when they all came on stage as most of the girls were spellbound by their pointy ears and most of the guys were waiting for the twins to do something, anything. The elfie plsuhie at the lead mic stepped up, grinning and gave the shout that would start it all.  
  
"I WANT YOU-." The crowd was poised on the shout, "TO WANT ME!" And the crowd's untied voice erupted with such force that the stage vibrated as the wee, leather clad Elladan plushie brought his drumstick crashing down on the plastic, followed by the next, then by the wee Elrond plushie's strumming of his guitar along with Celeborn.  
  
  
  
Theses are elfie plushies. This is the greatest band in the world. This is the telling of their trials on the road as they travel the world. This is the Following of the Band.  
  
'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~ '~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'  
  
The start of the song, for those who don't know great music(j/j:) is the start of 'I Want You To Want Me' by Cheap Trick. It's a good song and I didn't write it and I'm not profiting from it, the guys rock!  
  
A little idea I had but I wouldn't of had it without Nemis' insane mind, so plot bunny thankies go to Nemis.  
  
If you liked, hit the little button down there and I'll write more(longer chaps to:) 


	2. 2

"You looked like a bloody wanker out there."  
  
"Go to hell you Noldorian bastard."  
  
"Fine, your wife can join me, we'll have some fine times.  
  
"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP?!?!"  
  
Celeborn and Gil-galad turned to see their fellow plushie, Elrond, strumming his guitar as they rode along in the bus, looking very agitated. "I'm tryin' to write our next big hit and you two are blabberin' on about stupid thing, now shut up and sit down, the camera's on." Elrond nods to the camera that's been filming all along and the two other elves immediately grin and sit down.  
  
"I think you're cool in the hella way, gonna be your lover every day…" Elrond sings as he plucks at the strings. Gil-galad and Celeborn both turn to look at him, raising their cushy brows.  
  
"That sucks arse."  
  
"That blows arse."  
  
Elrond looks up at the two, quickly flips them the bird and goes back to strumming his guitar. Gil-galad sighs and turns to the camera.  
  
"We're on our way to Berlin to rock the stages and hopefully catch up with a group called Rammstein, rock out with them a bit, then move on to our next destination."  
  
Celeborn looks at him, then shakes his squishy head. "You stupid wank, you don't know where we are goin' after that, do ya?"  
  
Gil-galad looks at him like he's about to deck him but quickly exits the camera's range of view, grumbling. Celeborn turns to the camera, smiling. "You'll have to forgive our 'friend'," Off camera, Gil is flipping the bird to Celeborn as he does quotation marks on friend, "he's been having 'problems'," the bird again, "with groupies following his sorry royal arse around the world."  
  
"Go to Mandos you pissy, pompous prat. You're just jealous because nobody follows your white leather wearin' carcass around." Gil-galad hollers from off screen as Elrond sighs and strums the strings a little harder.  
  
Celeborn's eyes get wide and a vein on his forehead begins to throb. "DO NOT START ON ME AGAIN, I WILL TAKE YOUR ASRE DOWN!"  
  
Awoken by all the shouting, two elfie plushies stumble out of the back of the bus where they have their compartment beds.  
  
"What's with all the noise, I was tryin' to sleep."  
  
"Ya, stupid wanks." Elrohir throws in.  
  
'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~ '~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'  
  
Five hours later, the group has made it to Berlin where thousands of screaming fans await them.  
  
Gil-galad steps up to the foot tall mic, an evil grin upon his face as he looks to Celeborn before starting. "I'd like to dedicate this next one, to a very dear pal of mine, Celeborn, man, I love you."  
  
The silver haired elf looks at him in suspicion as he begins to sing.  
  
"I really want you to know…you're a good ol' bloke…but you're fashion sense is truly broke!" Gil-galad sang as Celeborn's eyes got wide. "You need to learn that black is best, your white is just messed, I really think you need some fashion counseling!"  
  
Picking up his guitar by the stem, Celeborn charged Gil, screaming, "You son of a bitch!"  
  
Gil-galad fell to the stage, trying to wrestle the white leather clad Celeborn off of him. Celeborn laid a plush fist into the cushy material of Gil-galad's chest.  
  
Elladan stood up from behind the drums and, looking at them crankily, whipped a drumstick at them. "'Ey, got off the floor you sodding children!"  
  
The drumstick hit Celeborn as he stood up from Gil-galad, square in the head and he fell off the stage. As he did, Elladan could be heard, "Oh, shit."  
  
"Bloody hell, now who's the Ilúvatar damn child." Elrond bellowed as he hopped off stage to fetch the silver haired elf. He hopped down, skillfully avoiding the outstretched hands of fans, picked up Celeborn by his white, leather studded collar and bitch slapped him. "Cut it out, we don't 'ave time for this." He dragged him back up on stage by his white leather lead, slapping Gil as he went back to his own position.  
  
Obediently, Gil-galad began to sing the proper song.  
  
'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~ '~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'  
  
"Well, that concert was interesting." Elrond said as he looked at Celeborn who had an ice pack on a welt the size of a penny who was looking at Elladan who was looking at Gil-galad. Elrohir was looking at them all with a smirk, finding the whole thing very amusing seeing as he managed to stay clear of it all.  
  
"Forget about it, alright, I just wanna get to the hotel so I can sleep on a real bed." Gil-galad huffed.  
  
"I just wanna play with the little bath soaps!" Elrohir said, glee in his eyes. Elladan's eyes became as his brother's were.  
  
"An see if they have little rubber duckies!"  
  
"Yeah!" The twins highfived each other.  
  
'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~ '~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'  
  
I was gonna make this longer but I wanted to get a little reviewer participation. If anyone wants to sign on to be groupies of the elfie plushies, just say so in a review and I'll write you in, we already have two followers:) 


	3. 3

"Ich will…" A heavy techno beat flows out from the keyboard of Christian Lorenz as he begins to pound on the keys. Elrohir follows his strokes with precision on his keyboard that reaches a little higher than Christian's ankle. The wee plushies head also bobs to the sound not an inch below the knee of the Rammstein member.  
  
Gil-galad steps up to the mic and his squishy hand takes a hold of it. "I want…" He echoes.  
  
"Ich will dass ihr mir vertraut." Till Lindemann roars into his own mic as Gil bobs around on stage next to him before going back to his place by Till's left leg.  
  
"I want you to trust me." Gil echoes again.  
  
Behind them, Elladan is laying down a light beat on the drums, accompanied by Christoph Schneider who, with the bass drum from his set, could crush Elladan and his drums.  
  
"Ich will dass ihr mir glaubt."  
  
"I want you to believe me."  
  
Celeborn and Oliver Riedel are rocking out along with Richard Kruspe- Bernstein on one side of the stage, banging their heads. Oliver and Kruspe seem mesmerized by wee Celeborn plushies swinging, glittering, silver hair.  
  
Elrond plushie is thumping his foot on the ground as he strums his guitar and Paul Landers does so as well, his heavey footfalls causing El to constantly bounce on the stage.  
  
"Ich will eure Blicke spüren." Till sings as he lifts Gil up on his massive shoulder, allowing him access to the massive mic.  
  
"I want to feel your eyes." Gil hollers from his place on Till's shoulder who seems very amused by the wee, cushy elfie.  
  
In a spontaneous movement, Elladan hops from his stool and onto one of Christoph's drums and begins to pound his tiny drum sticks on one of the symbols. Christoph has to keep from lauhging so hard that he falls off his stool when Elladan begins to thump his cushy head on the symbol instead.  
  
  
  
"We must hook up again, eh?" Till says to Gil in a thick German accent as he hands him an autographed picture while taking one of Gil.  
  
"Bloody right we gotta!" Gil says extatically as his eyes glaze over at the autographed photo.  
  
  
  
"So, you're like, t'ree thousand years old?" Oliver asks Elrond as they kick back off stage before EPILP leaves.  
  
"Been so long, mate, I don't know how long I been kickin' round for n'more!" El and Oliver laugh heartily until Oliver smacks Elrond on the back, sending his cushy body across the room.  
  
  
  
"Blooody mammals?" Paul tries as Elladan shakes his head.  
  
"No, no, no. Bloody Mandos!"  
  
"What is…Manos?"  
  
Elladan sighs and begins a long explanation of the blessed realm, touching on several key points of Elvish history while Paul sits and listens with side eyes.  
  
  
  
"I personally don't have a problem with ze white leather, I just 'tink that black has more…charming characteristics." Richard explains to Celeborn as he sips some tea. Celeborn nods.  
  
"But, see, everyone in bloody middle earth thinks that black has charming characteristics, I'm just tryin' to be different 'ere." Celeborn responds as Richard thinks on it a moment.  
  
"Maybe they just have problems with the harsh svitch, I mean, white is ze complete opposeet of black…have you tried finding gray leather?"  
  
Celeborn nods his head slightly, "Gray leather…hmmm…"  
  
  
  
"He iz your grandfader?" Christian and Christoph ask Elrohir in amazed unison.  
  
"Yup, we're all related." Elrohir responds as he points to Elrond. "See, he's me pop and…," he searches out Gilgalad, "and King Gil over there is me pop's…" he counts on his fingers and whispers several names to himself "well, he's his cousin…I think…somewhere down the line…" A look of extreme confusion comes across his face and Christian and Christoph look at him with raised eyebrows. "And Celeborn's me mum's pop."  
  
  
  
"So, we're on our way back to the 'otel now." Gil-galad says with a yawn as he pats his mouth with his plushie hand.  
  
"Ya, we're prayin' to the Lady that the security is stepped up." Elrond says from his position on the couch in the bus.  
  
"There was a little scare yesterday-." Celeborn starts but is quickly cut off by the twins who speak in unison.  
  
"Ya, a scare that those incredibly fine maidens wouldn't come after us again." They said excitedly with large grins.  
  
Elrond and Celeborn grumbled. The twins look at them and stick out their tongues, "You're just pissy 'cause you're married and can't have any fun!"  
  
The dark and silver haired elves roll their eyes and chat on their own as the bus pulls up to the hotel and the rumbling of hundreds of screaming fans is heard. The five elfie plushies get up, preparing to brave the battle of trying to get from the bus to their hotel.  
  
  
  
"DAMMIT! It's not fare!" Elrohir grumbles as Elladan pouts.  
  
"I know, I wanted them to come back too." The other twin says sadly.  
  
Gil-galad comes up behind them, looking depressed as well. "That one…her hair it was…as stunnin' as a Silmaril…more beautiful than the Lady herself…and eyes…like the water that swirls about the shores of the Blessed realm…I could drown in them but there so…so…safe…."  
  
The twins look at him with cocked brows. "Ah, you a'right there Gil?" They don't get a response as Gil'galad seems to have dazed off.  
  
The twins shrug and continue to discuss. "Whata 'bout that one wit' the black hair, not as tall as the other's…she had a sign that said she wanted to bear our children…" Elrohir said with a grin as Elladan snickered.  
  
"Umm, was she fair of face, a little on the thin side…wears a shirt that says 'Double Your Elfie Pleasure?'" Elrond says with wide eyes as they enter the hotel room.  
  
"Yeah, that sounds 'bout right, why?"  
  
"Because she's on your bed…" Celeborn replies.  
  
Sure enough, on the king plushie sized beds(about the size of a large baby crib) there are the ten fangirls that have been following the plushies since their first gig at the prancing pony. The slogans on their shirts range from "Spank me" to "I'm Gil's King Bitch" to "White Leather is more than Just Clothing, it's a Religion" and "Kinky Sex is Always Better with a Ring of Power". All the fan girls eyes get wide at the sight of the plushies and their united scream shakes the walls of the hotel room.  
  
Gil, Elladan and Elrohir don't seem to care as they go and hop on the laps of some of the fan girls who cuddle them.  
  
"Heeellooo Mr. Ereinion!" One says gleefully with the wee plushie on her lap. Gil-galad looks up to see the beautiful, strawberry blond he had been glassine eyed about in the hallway.  
  
"It's you! You came back!" He replies, hugging her stomach happily, his head resting against the 'G' in 'Got Gil?' upon her shirt. The woman unsticks Gil from her enough to offer her hand.  
  
"I'm Nemis."  
  
"Your names Nemis? Bit odd, don't ya think?" Gil says as Nemis blushes.  
  
"Well…it's actually Kim…but…" Nemis stutters but Gil doesn't seem to care as he wraps his plushie arms around her waist again.  
  
  
  
"You're sooo cute!" The black haired girl with the shirt that said 'Double Your Elfie Pleasure' says as she hugs the twins who don't seem to mind as they bask in the attention.  
  
"It's the atmosphere in middle earth, does wonders for the skin…" They reply, being very snugglable. "But you never said your name…"  
  
"I would be princess turtle and that's all I'm gonna say…" She says, toying with their teeny braids.  
  
  
  
Two of the girls, both very short yet stunnign, not that it matters as they're kneeling infront of Celeborn who sits on his small bed, both with slightly short auburn hair and brown eyes are stroking the leather on Celeborn's leg. "I never thought it could be so nice…"  
  
"You've no idea, Alyson, white is the best leather out there, but I've been thinking of changing it to gray." Celeborn says to one, causing a gasp to escape her.  
  
"But...but...you can't…"  
  
"Doesn't matter, Celeborn plushie sexy no matter what colour leather is….." The other drools as she ogles Celeborn who smiles at the sexy comment.  
  
"Thank ye'…Lady of the Golden Kitties was it?" He asks, not truly comprehending her name as it was so close to his wife's yet so much odder.  
  
"Yeah…but Kari works good too…" She says, still looking with wonder upon the plushie, adoring his silver hair.  
  
  
  
"But you see, it's not his fault, he just got a little spooked…"  
  
"Maybe he needs to be taken out more, Jen." Elrond says, braiding the brown hair as he is amazed by the blond streaks in it.  
  
"But he gets out plenty…." She whines then looks back at the plushy handiwork. "Wow, nice braid…so there's no possibility of anything more..?"  
  
Elrond shakes his head and sighs. "She's millions of miles and an alternate dimension away…but I lover and miss her…"  
  
Jen nods, turns and scoops him up in her arms. "So be it." She says, kissing him on his cushy forehead, getting up and leaving.  
  
"Hey…where ye goin'?"  
  
"Lots of other plushies to ogle tonight!" Jen smiles.  
  
El looks sad until a black haired girl, shirt saying 'Kinky Sex is Better with a Ring of Power', walks up and offers her hand to him. "Hi, I'm Alena, your personal plushie fan groupie." She says with a grin.  
  
  
  
While everyone is focusing on separate elfie plushies, a girl with slightly odd, blue and blond hair yet with a very warm smile, is running around like a chicken who lost it's head, snapping pictures and cuddling any elfie plushie she can get her hands on. "Nice leather there, Celeborn, grey would be cool too. Hey Gil, I like the skull cap! Matching tattoos? Yeah! They'd look great on twins…especially in leather. Aww, I know you miss her, just remember that you've got thousands of fans, there El, we care!" By the end of the night, every elf wound up with a kiss on the cheek from her…and she still wasn't done yet….  
  
  
  
Another one, short saying 'I'm Gil's King Bitch' walks up and pats his head. A deadly look crosses Nemis' eyes at the sight of the blond. "Hi Gil- galad! Great to meet you, I'm Melissa, Lissa works fine too!" She says with a grin. Gil nods.  
  
"Are you a big fan too?"  
  
"Yup, 'sept I'm not here to get into your plushie leather pants-," Nemis narrows her eyes at the blond, "I just think you're very cool, what with being a King and all…can I have your autograph?" She asks, blinking her green eyes widely. Gil nods, whips out a handy pen and signs the photo as Nemis reaches for a pointy object. She doesn't get it, though, as another girl walks up. Her dark brown hair matches her eyes perfectly and she kneels in front of Gil-galad.  
  
"Hello your swoon worthy majesty." She says silkily, handing him a tiny teddy bear with a crown embroidered on it's breast. "I'm Kala." Gil smiles until he sees the throbbing vein on Nemis' head.  
  
"Now me ladies, lets all get along shall we?" He says sheepishly but all three glare at one another with deadly looks.  
  
  
  
The turtle princess is busy cuddling the twins when Jen and another woman, auburn hair and green-brown eyes seemingly sparkling, walk up. "Can we cuddle the twins too?" They ask with pleading little eyes. She looks a little sad but sets the twins down on the bed as the other two hop up, running fingers over the leather on the twins and marveling at their teeny braids.  
  
"Have you guys ever considered acting?"  
  
the twins look at her cock their heads to the side. "Why, are you an agent?" Elrohir asks.  
  
"No…I'm Meaghann, I would just really like to see you on the big screen." She says, grinning. Jen and the Turtle Princess both look to the ceiling as they imagine the two wee elfie plushies on the big screen…in leather….  
  
The three sigh as Elladan and Elrohir look at them curiously.  
  
Kala, thinking that Nemis is close to killing the next person to look at Gil with swoony eyes, decides to go and look at her twins as well and it is not long before they're all discussing Elladan and Elrohir doing action movies with Jackie Chan. "Can't you just imagine them in little gi's?" Kala squeals.  
  
"With little black belts!" The Turtle Princess throws in, hugging Elladan.  
  
"And little black bandanas!" Jen throws in and all of them squeal as Meaghann scribbles down notes for an acting contract with some help from Elrohir.  
  
  
  
"You should go and get her, taker her on tour with you!" Alena says, absent mindedly fiddling with El's braids.  
  
"I should!" Elrond cries, jumping up and hugging Alena. "Thanks there 'Lena, would nay' a thought of it wit' out ye!"  
  
Alena picks up the phone and asks for a connection to the airport. "I'll get the arrangements made, you just contact Brí, k?"  
  
Elrond nods, hops off the bed and goes to find his laptop.  
  
  
  
"White leather…ooooo…" Another woman, hair resembling that of the Vanyar and the Noldor, has joined in rubbing Celeborn's white leather pants. She snaps from her daze and looks up at Celeborn who seems to be slightly depressed.  
  
"Oh, I'm Joan, keeper of Melkor's green underwear, what's up Celeb?" She asks curiously. "People buggin you about the white leather again?"  
  
"No…I just miss me wife…."  
  
Joan whispers a damn under her breath but shruggs and hops up next to Celeborn anyway. "I..uh…" She mentally kicks herself for this, "I overheard Alena telling Elrond to contact Celebrían…you know…take her on tour with you guys…maybe you could…do the same?" She stutters as Kari and Alyson look like they're about to kill her. Celebonr jumps up, looking considerably more happy and runs over to Elrond who is typing an e-mail on his laptop(which is more of a palm top to normal sized, non-plushie people).  
  
Needless to say, that night the security had to be called as the EPILP groupies tried to kill one another and a few of the plushies got caught in the cross fire….  
  
  
  
Next time on Following The Band….  
  
"You bloody wanker, no, there's no room for that here!"  
  
"Shut ye' fuckin' lembas hole. Ye're just mad 'cause you got no'body to come on tour wit' ye!"  
  
…Tensions arise when the wife's arrive…  
  
"I saw ye on TV with those wee sluts, strokin yer' leather pants which I made!"  
  
…and the group finds out that the influence of television is far reaching….  
  
  
  
Sorry for any mistakes I made, I tried, there was alought of you(which I'm glad for) but it was alought to write because some specified more than one elfie plushie…  
  
Spelling questionable…why? My beta disappeared and left me and the plushies stranded…  
  
  
  
Review please!!!! I live off of them! The plushies live of them! 


End file.
